Was taking my forth or so driving lesson today (at Flip's insistence) and once we had done a lap of the local streets and down some of the less populated ways, he asked if I felt ready to drive out to Fyshwick, where I usually work.
deciding that it would be the best course to take because it would be the most frequent drive I would take.

so made it out there all safe and sound (the longest drive I have taken so far) and decided it would be best if I rested from driving for a bit, so we (Flip & I) went into the stores where I work. To look for some things but mainly to double check if some jobs were still going.
Well, found out the Clive Anthony jobs have been filled, which saves me having to waste time applying for them (stupid Sydney admin keeping things posted long after they have been filled!) but as I was hanging around catching up with the staff, saw my boss Roger come in and so asked him what was going on and why I wasn't getting any shifts.

After some prodding with his usual "you get too worked up on the door" excuse, I managed to get out of him "They (the JB/Clive Anthony/Charters' managers) don't like the way I look and present myself". Which almost elicited a "well, fuck them!" response from me. And then Roger pretty much told me that I should look for other work and that he will see what he can find for me.
Also talked to some of the staff and Roger pretty much ignored them when they asked after me and asked if he would put me back on the door there.

That really pissed me off!

11 months working for the company and they and Roger don't even have the decency to fire me to my face or at least send me a reprimand on my appearance and behaviour -because I think part of this comes from pretty much telling the Clive Anthony manager and 2IC to go fuck themselves when they tried to lay the blame on the laptop theft a month ago on me and me telling them that if they had listened to me back when they opened it would've been less likely to have happened.
but there have been other little things other than that and my appearance at issue, so it really shouldn't be a surprise that I have been pushed aside again (same thing happened last year too).

just fucking pisses me off that I had to bail up my supervisor and push him to tell me that I shouldn't hold my breath over any shifts.

and people wonder why I am a misenthrope and never bother to improve my appearance or behaviour because I know that they will do shit like this to me. So why bother?

Needless to say, this put me in too foul a mood to drive back home, so pulled in at the airport (to avoid the setting sun getting into my eyes) and Flip drove home.

So now I have to get serious into looking for another job because I don't think that the undercover stuff will come through at all.

and before any of you cunts say the obvious: there is no fucking way I am going to change my appearance.

If I have the ability and qualifications what the fuck should it matter what I look like?!
Especially if I am going to be in a position where I have limited contact with people.

so if anyone does mention my demenour and appearance, I am currently in a foul enough mood to kick your teeth down your fucking throat, OK?!

will talk more about this later when my temper settles.

that is all

Shadow